The Gundam Boys in Summer Camp Torture
by Solar Flare
Summary: COMPLETED: After the ice cream shop, the boys head out to summer camp. Heero, Duo, Trowa, and Quatre cause havoc and mayhem while Wufei is in for a different surprise....
1. Chapter 1: Arrival

Summer Camp Torture

NOTE: I don't own GW sadly enough. Please R&R and if you have an idea you want to add in let me know! This one is a bit longer than my other ones but there will be laughs. Oh yes there will be... .

Previously on: The Gundam Boys vs. Ice Cream Parlour  
"This is why I can't you guys anywhere" Quatre complains as they make their way back down to the bus stop. "And Trowa watch where you are walking"  
"I am," Trowa replies innocently as Wufei's head bounces off of various items on the sidewalk. The bus pulls up and Quatre quickly grabs Wufei away from Trowa before the bus runs him over.  
"Just think," Duo says as the clambered onto the bus. "Tomorrow we'll be getting on the bus for summmer camp!"

Chapter 1: Arrival

Quatre breathed in the warm summer hair and sighed as he looked at the magnificently blue sky. "What a beautiful today on Earth." He picked up his back-pack and started walking over to the throng of boys standing by an old yellow bus enjoying the small breeze blowing playfully in his golden hair.  
"Hey Q-Man!" Duo came running up to Quatre waving his arm. Quatre waved back and instantly started looking around for the others. He spotted Heero and Trowa leaning against the bus and made his way toward them. Duo caught up and with a might sigh of relief, leaned against the side of the bus to catch his breath.  
"You're late." Heero chided Duo.  
"Better late than sorry." Duo said with a playful smirk. Duo looked around the crowd not finding what he was looking for. "Hey where's Wufei?"  
"Haven't seen him." Trowa said also giving a cursory look around.  
"Maybe he decided to make his own way there instead of the bus. He is still kind of mad about the ice cream fiasco." Quatre says looking pointedly at Heero and Trowa.  
"He started it..."

The cue was given to started loading onto the bus as two of the three counselors finished loading the suitcases. The four boys made their way to the back of the bus but the back seats were already taken. Heero flashed his infamous Death Glare causing the other boys to quickly exit the seats and everyone else move up as far as possible leaving the back six sits vacant. Quatre put his head into his hand and sits next to Trowa who was next to the window on the right. Heero took the window spot to the left and Duo sat by him. As the bus started down the road, Quatre looked uneasily as Duo started fidgeting praying he can make it long enough to the camp without getting under Heero's skin...

"What a lousy week this is." Muttered Wufei to himself. Not only has he been humiliated, dropped down a shaft that deposited him in the rose bushes, dragged unconsciously down the sidewalk, but now he has to face summer camp looking like he was ran over by a herd of cattle. Plus he was running so late he didn't even have time to pull his hair back which meant he kept having to pull it out of his face. Covered in bandages and his bruises having bruises, Wufei donned his sun glasses back on to cover his lingering black eyes. He squinted over the parking lot to a bus where a group of teenagers were climbing into it. Wufei silently cursed under his breath as he double timed it across the way, handed his luggage to the counselor, and boarded the bus. Not wanting to cause a scene with his appearance, he quickly sat in the front row, and turned away from the aisle towards the window.

Apparently not very long...  
"BAKA!" Heero yelled pushing Duo off of him again.  
"I just want to see out the window!" Duo pouted, lowering him self further into the seat and crossing his arms with a "Hmph".  
"Trees, trees and trees. Thats all there is so stop climbing on top of me!" Heero demanded as he also crossed his arms and turned away from Duo muttering under his breath.  
Clearly noticing the annoyance of his buddy, an impish grin started spreading across his face. Just as he was about to lean over towards Heero again, a vicious tug on his long braid brought him reeling backwards till he was looking face up at menacing looking Quatre.  
"Behave yourself." Quatre pressed, his face 2 inches from Duo and glaring madly.  
"Yeah, yeah I know." Duo countered acting innocently. _At least I know I should..._  
Quatre relinquished Duo's hair, glanced at him from the corner of his eyes and delved back into his astrophysics book.  
Duo took Quatre's cue and pulled out a notebook and a pencil. Of course he was being productive in his own ways.

tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap...

Duo looked up at the ceiling in false concentration as he glance over at Heero who was screwing his face up more and more.  
"Would you knock that off!" Heero quickly lashed at Duo.  
"Oh sure buddy no problem." Duo smiled sweetly and patted Heero's back with a little too much gusto.  
Heero turned around fuming about to unleash on Duo when Quatre quickly leaned over and hurriedly said, "Heero remember your counting."  
Heero gave Quatre a look that could melt ice but reluctantly settled back in his seat with his eyes closed. "1, 2, 3, 4..."  
However during his concentration, something wet hit Heero right on the cheek. He opened his eyes and swiped at his face coming to reveal a spitball. Furiously Heero's gaze swept across the bus and landed on Duo right beside him. Duo was acting nonchalantly with his eyes trained towards the front of the bus. Heero muttered a curse under his breath and pulled out his PSP pretending to be concentrating on his God of War game. Heero spotted it out of the corner of his eye but a little too late as the next spitball landed right in his ear.

"OMAE O KOROSU!" Heero shouted as as jumped on top of Duo throwing the braided boy on his back, head hanging in the aisle. Quatre and Trowa quickly jumped into action. Trowa managed to hurtle himself through the unoccupied seats in front of them and climb behind Heero before he was able to point his gun at Duo's head. Even though the gun was pointed at the ceiling, he kept firing hoping a ricochet will kill or at least seriously maim Duo. Quatre in the mean time was frantically trying to pull Duo out of Heero's grasp all the while smiling at the shocked and scared group of people up front.  
"No worries. They do this all the time. They really are best friends I assure you. Like brothers. You know how you fight with your siblings sometimes. He he he he. I'll replace the bus. Everything's fine. I promise."  
"I'll kill him! Let go of me! He's not getting away with this! Let me at him! I'll rip him to pieces!"

...bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, click, click, click...

"Just he wait, can't hide behind them forever..." Heero kept muttering under his breath glaring at Duo who was now sitting against the window beside Quatre on the right hand side of the bus. Trowa was keeping guard of Heero by sitting in the aisle seat by him. The bus turned left and passed under an wooden archway with the sign "Lake Hoosuhrdadi Summer Camp. The bus barely came to a screeching halt before the campers made a mad dash out the door trying to stay away from the nutters in the back. The counselors were handing out bedding arrangements when one of the counselors on the bus dashed frantically toward them and stammering wildly. One of the counselors nodded and made their way over to the four boys who was being given a wide berth from the other campers.  
"We decided that you four should group up in one cabin instead of splitting you up to insure the safet... I mean since you are obviously very good friends." She quickly said brandishing as much of a sincere smile she could get.

The four boys dragged their suitcases and backpacks to cabin number 8 which was suspiciously the last one in the row away from all of the main buildings. When the got there they quickly claimed they beds with Heero and Trowa taking the two on the north end and Quatre and Duo on the south ending thinking it would be easier to keep the peace that way.  
"You know there is still no sign of Wufei." Quatre said with a little bit of a worried expression crossing his face.  
"He probably decided against coming. He did look like someone took a dozen Louisville Sluggers and beat him senseless." Duo said reassuringly.  
"Your right. He's probably enjoying a relaxing day at home." Quatre commented agreeably.

Wufei glanced at the sign as the bus turned right into the camp. "Lake Huuchimuma Summer Camp." Instantly Wufei jerked upright and whipped around peering at the disappearing sign through the window. _What in the world..._  
Suddenly as the bus came to a stop, all the girls ran off of the bus screaming. Quickly Wufei jumped off and scanned his surroundings.  
"Oh no... no... this can't be..." Wufei slowly turned and looked at the name on the bus, "Lake Huuchimuma Summer Camp for Girls".  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!


	2. Chapter 2: Day One

Chapter 2: Day One

After the four boys finished unpacking their suitcases, they headed over to the cafeteria to get some lunch.  
"This is going to be so much fun. Swimming, hiking, canoeing. Hey Heero you going to sing Kumbaya around the campfire tonight?" Duo asked his stoic comrade.  
"No."  
"Awww come on it'll be fun!" Duo exclaimed as he started skipping and humming.  
Heero merely rolled his eyes while Quatre and Trowa giggled.  
As they approached the cafeteria a mesh of laughter and talking emanated out of the doorway as the other campers ate and chatted. Upon the quartet entering however, the buzzing ceased and the entire hall was quiet as they stared at who had just entered. Unphased the boys walked over to the counter and grabbed some trays containing sandwiches, chips and jello.  
"Hello everyone." Quatre said quietly waving to everyone. A few people raised their hands in awkward waves but most just kept they eyes trained down on their food. A few kept stealing glances at the 'crazy' boys.  
They found four vacant seats at a table that was otherwise full and as they sat down while eveyone else stood up and quickly departed. Duo was still egging Heero on about the campfire singing and Quatre had to keep interrupting to remind Heero of his counting when the head counselor stood up to make an annoucement.  
"Today we thought we would open up the summer with a relaxing day at the lake to really get into the spirit of Lake Huusuhrdadi. What do you say?" the couselor asked with a little too much enthusiasm.  
"Yay!" came the outcry of everyone as they started to run out of the cafeteria to change into their swim clothes.

"Okay everyone here's your bedding assignments." the counselor said.  
Wufei made his way over to the head counselor to say how he mistakenly got on the wrong bus.  
"My my aren't we a little accident prone." Head counselor commented as Wufei walked up to him.  
"Nevermind, look there's been a mistake. I got on the wrong bus, I should be at the boys camp." Wufei said.  
"It's okay I understand," the head counselor started, "You don't have to be ashamed about wanting to be a boy. It's natural to be confused during this time of your life."  
"WHAT?!"  
"No one is going to judge you for being a tomboy as long as you don't take it too far. Don't want to be advertising the wrong impression, might make the other girls nervous of changing in front of you but I'm sure you won't have any problems getting along with you fellow girl campers."  
"No no, you don't understand. I really am a boy!"  
"Careful, don't want that pretty little nose of yours to grow." laughed Head counselor. "Now run along to your cabin. Aw look, here comes your bunk mates right now."  
"Fei Fei!" cried the three girls as the ran over to Wufei. "Come on you slow poke! We have to hurry and unpack so we can make it to the cafeteria on time for lunch!" Two grabbed him by each arm dragging him while the third pushed his back.

Wufei's bunk mates quickly unpacked all of their belongings but Wufei refused to pack his suitcase.  
"Come on Wufei hurry up."  
"No this is a big misunderstanding. I don't belong here." Wufei said as he made his way to the door.  
"GRAB HER!"  
Wufei was tackled from behind by the three girls who quickly took his suitcase away and dragged it back over to his bed.  
"Hey theives, give me back my stuff!"  
"We're not stealing, merely commandering. Nautical term." they smiled. They opended the suitcase and started pulling everything out.  
"Hey stay out of that!" Wufei made a mad dash to take his things back.  
"Oh look she even wears boxers. How cute."  
"Awwww these ones have little red hearts on them. I knew you had a little femininity in you still."  
"You really should have clothes that accenuate your natural shape Fei Fei."  
"STOP STOP STOP!"  
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"  
The two girls stopped and looked over at the third girl.  
"She... she doesn't... she doesn't have any makeup!!"  
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

"If you hold still you'll make it alot easier on yourself. There perfect."  
The girls relinquished their hold on the protesting Wufei and finally let him up.  
"Don't you look beautiful." they said together as they held up a mirror to Wufei. He now had pink lipgloss, eyeshadow, and masacra on. They even managed to cover his bruises with foundation. He also had his hair put up in pigtails.  
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"  
"Now now, don't be like that. You'll grow to love it!" they smiled sweetly as they dragged him out the door and headed to the cafeteria.  
"Here we go." They sat him in chair with one on each side and the third one sat across from him. "Eat up now. Can't have a newest girlfriend starving herself."  
Just then the head counselor walked by and stopped behind Wufei. "See you're fitting in perfectly already and don't you look so pretty."  
"You've got to help me, I don't belong here. I'm not a girl." Pleaded Wufei.  
"You girls take good care of our little friend here."  
"We will."  
Wufei started to quickly get up and chase the counselor but was forced back into his seat again.  
"Now now, don't be running off yet. Besides you'll miss the announcments." The girls said.  
"Hello and welcome everyone!"  
"Yay!" cried all the girls in the cafeteria as they stood up, arms in air and sat back down.  
"Are you ready to have some fun?"  
"Yay!"  
"Kill me now..." o.O  
"Okay everybody! Go back to your cabins and change into your swimsuits cause we're going swimming!"  
"Yay!" they all cried as they started to stampede. Wufei thought it best to try and run for it. Especially considering he didn't exactly bring a one-piece...  
"Fei Fei!"  
"Oh for the love of god..."

The three girls dragged Wufei into the cabin and automatically went to their dressers pulling out their own swimsuits. Wufei quickly turned his back to them as soon as he realized they weren't going anywhere else to change. He started to tip toe over to the door way when he was forcibly grabbed yet again from behind.  
"Silly Fei Fei, you can't go swimming in those clothes." They started rummaging through his clothes again and pulled out a pair of boy swim trunks.  
"Oh my goodness! Don't tell me you actually swim in these! Here wear this." She thrust a pink one piece that resembled a dress into Wufei's protesting hands. "It even has this cute knee length skirt so you won't have to show those big thighs of yours."  
"What?! I do not have big thighs..."  
"Hurry up Fei or you're going to make us late."  
"You don't understand I can't change into this."  
The girls looked pointedly at Wufei.  
"Unless you don't watch. he he he..."  
"Oh ok Fei Fei" They turned around.  
Instantly he dropped the swimsuit and made a mad dash to the door.  
"Please, please, please..."  
BAM!! Wufei face planted into the floor as he was tackled. "Now if you don't change into this yourself, we'll have to do it for you." The smiled at Wufei.  
"Ok, he he he..." -.-

"Oh marvelous!"  
"You look so cute!"  
"How adorable!"  
"Shoot me..."  
The girls dragged Wufei all the way to the beach amid bouts of laughter as the passed the other campers.  
"Come on lets dive of the dock!"  
"Lets not..."  
They jumped off the dock still holding onto Wufei. "Yay!"  
"Nnnoooooo!"

Quatre sat on the dock in his swim trunks with his legs dipped into the lake. He smiled as he bathed in the sunshine. "Wufei has no idea what he is missing."  
"True, true." Trowa and Heero agreed as they floated relaxingly on their backs in the water.


	3. Chapter 3: Once Upon A Stormy Night

Chapter 3: Once Upon A Stormy Night

NOTE: I claim the story told by Quatre (there's more I'm going to do with it 'hint hint') and the one by Trowa. Pretty good if I do say so myself. (cheesy grin). Heero's is a version of "Hairy Toe", popular story supposedly originating from Maryland. This one was how I heard it growing up.

The perfect summer weather came to a halt one night during the summer camp vacation. A little after sundown a violent storm swooped in causing everyone to take shelter in their cabins for the remainder of the evening. Inside their cabin, the boys each sat on their respective beds and as the wind shooked the windows and lightning flashed in the sky, they wondered what they were going to do.  
"I know a very 'camp' like thing we can do," Duo chimed in. "We can roast marshmallows!"  
"What, start a campfire in the middle of a long cabin?" Wufei chided sarcastically.  
"At least I'm coming up with some ideas." Duo countered sticking his tongue out.  
"Well this is good weather to tell scary stories." Quatre said as he watched another flash of lightning pierce the sky.  
"Hey that's a great idea," Duo said excitedly. "Leave it up to me!."

Pretty soon Duo managed to make a tent with their sleeping bags, a broom from the closet and some old cord tied to the end of each bed. He also revealed his stash of soda and chips he's been stealing from the cafeteria. They all crawled in even though the other boys were questioning the integrity of something that Duo built. Heero pulled out a flashlight and flicked it on highlighting his face.  
"AAAHHHHH!!"  
They all looked at Duo with puzzled expressions.  
"What? He's looks freaky."  
"Breathe Heero. Count."  
"1, 2, 3, 4,..."  
"Sigh"  
"Okay who should start this?" Heero asked purposely not looking at Duo who was waving his hands frantically in the air.  
"Well I'll give it a shot." Quatre volunteered as he reached for a cream soda.  
Heero passed the flashlight to him and everyone settled in with their pillows.

"It was a dark and stormy night..."  
"Well duuhhhhhh."  
SMACK "Shut up Duo!"  
"...and all through the house..."  
"Not a creature was stirri.."  
SMACK, SMACK  
"No double teaming..."  
"... it was quiet. Eerily quiet compared to the howling wind the ravaged the skies outside. Little Beth laid in bed and listened to the rain pattering the window. 'Goodnight my dear' her mother and father said as they closed the door behind them. Beth looked around the room that was barely lit from her night lights and squeezed her blue eyes shut hoping she'll fall asleep quickly. 'Scratch, scratch, scratch' came a noise from the closet. 'There's nothing there, there's nothing there.' she muttered to herself trying to push it our of her mind. 'Scratch, scratch, scratch.' Unable to take it anymore she grabbed the flashlight she hid under her pillow and quickly pointed it to the closet. Nothing. Beth carefully got out of her bed and slowly made her way to the closet. She grabbed the handle and jumped back as she pulled it open. Nothing. She pointed the flashlight this way and that but there was nothing in her closet except her clothes and toys. Beth closed the closet door and crawled back into her bed but she left the flashlight on her bed side table with it pointing to the closet. She pulled the covers over her and nuzzled down, closing her eyes. 'Creak.' Beth's eyes shot open in a flash and she stared at the closet door that opened by itself barely an inch. She sat there for what seemed an eternity before she grabbed the flashlight again and made her way across her room. After searching the closet again she closed the closet once more. She pushed against it with all her might and pulled the handle back making sure it wasn't open still. Satisfied, she turned around to go back to her bed. 'Creak.' Beth turned around quickly and to see the door wide open. 'AAAHHHHH!'"

"AAAHHHHHH!!"  
"Duo let go of me..."  
"Beth's parents came running down the hall as fast as they could, threw open her bedroom door and turned on the light. They only things they saw were a flashlight on the ground pointing into the closet where they could see nothing but a little Victorian doll, whose eyes had changed from green to blue."

Quatre sat the flashlight on the floor and looked over at his friends. Trowa was trying to help Heero pry a shaking Duo off of him. "Sorry was that a little too much?" He asked apologetically.  
"No, no. You're fine. He he he he..." Duo said trying to act nonchalantly. At least, as best he could while constantly looking around him and jumping at every noise.

"Ok I'll go next." Heero said picking up the flashlight. "An old woman was in the woods one day digging up roots to use in a stew which she came up a big toe sticking out of the ground."  
"Heard it."  
SMACK  
"...Quatre??"  
"What I like this story."  
"The toe had quite a lot of meat on it and the old woman was very hungry so she decided to cut it off and take it home. No one would noticed a missing toe. The lady went home to her one room house, cut up the toe and the roots, and made herself a nice warm stew. Happy that her belly was full, the lady went to sleep. A few hours passed when a giant shadow emerged from the tree line. 'Where's my toe? Where's my toe?' The old woman heard the distant moaning but did not wake. Now it was in her front yard. 'Where's my toe? Where's my toe?' The lady suddenly woke with a fright and ran to her door. She heard heavy footsteps outside so she made sure the door was locked and ran back into her bed, pulling the covers over her head. Bang went the door as it flew open and the heavy steps walked into the house. 'Where's my toe? Where's my toe?' The lady kept quiet. 'Where's my toe? Where's my toe?' It was closer. 'Where's my toe? Where's my toe?' YOU STOLE IT!"  
"AAAHHHHHHH!!"  
"Down Duo..."  
"And she was never seen again."

Heero set the flashlight down satisfied with his story. Mainly cause he was able to get in Duo's face for the famous words at the end. All that was left was Trowa's story. He took a swig of his Dr. Pepper and began. "In a circus far, far away, a boy was auditioning to fill the role of a circus ring clown."  
"Why am I not surprised."  
SMACK  
"Change spots every now and again won't you. Ow"  
"John was perfect for the job and hired on the spot. While talking to his fellow clowns, the old clown's name was brought up. When prodded, the other clowns confessed that he didn't stay very long. He just vanished the night before his debut performance. Didn't leave a note or said anything to anybody. In fact the last few people who took the job did the same thing. They just didn't come to work. That night in his room, an uneasy feeling came over John. It felt like death itself walked into the room. He quickly threw on the light and looked around the room. Nothing was there. He quickly picked up the phone and called one of his friends. John recounted everything he was told and the strange, cold feeling that wafted into the room. Of course he's friend set him straight and told him not to be silly. John wasn't easily deterred so his friend made him a deal that they would be inseparable for the next two days until his first performance. Those days passed easily including at night when he's friend bunked on the floor. The night before the performance however John couldn't quite fall asleep. Suddenly he woke up! It was morning. Relieved he let out a sigh. His friend woke up and reiterated how silly John was being. Believing the truth, John was in a very good mood all day and was excited about the night's show. He did hesitate for a moment before donning the costume, called himself silly, and continued getting ready. He took his mark in the big tent in front of a very large crowd. The ring master introduced him as the next act. All that was left was the spotlight. All the lights went out and he breathed in expecting to be in a circle of light. But the lights weren't turning on. How strange thought John to himself. When they managed to get the lights back on... he was gone. Surrounded in a circle of light was a small rose from his costume."

"BOO"  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Duo screamed as he jumped forward away from Heero knocking over the broom causing the sleeping bags to fall on them.  
"Hey watch your foot!"  
"Move over I'm trying to get out!"  
"Get your elbow out of my back!"  
BAM! "Owwie..."  
They untangled themselves and turned the light back on. After cleaning up the mess the boys decided they better get to bed. Duo on the other hand didn't quite like that idea.  
"How about we just stay awake a little bit longer. You know. Hang out, chat, leave the light on..."  
"Here Duo, you can sleep with Humpty if you want." Quatre offered his stuffed camel.  
"Uh no thanks. Really. I'm fine. Nooo worries." Duo joked half-heartedly.  
"Okay then." Trowa turned off the light.

Heero was starting to doze off and pulled his blanket over him more, except it didn't move. He tugged and tugged, and then it tugged back. He opened his eyes and in a flash of lightning he saw two big purple eyes inches from his face.  
"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Heero screamed as he flew out of bed and turned on the light. Duo was laying in Heero's bed on the edge squeezing Humpty.  
"Uhhh. Well. Me and Humpty decided we need a teddy bear. So we wouldn't have to worry about being alone. He he"  
After a few tense moments of Trowa holding back an infuriated Heero and Quatre trying telling him to keep counting, Heero managed to calm down enough to not strangle Duo though the want was still there.  
"Here Duo." Quatre slid their beds together so they were touching. "Let's try this."  
"Thanks Quatre." Duo said sincerely.  
"No problem."  
"And Quatre?"  
"Yeah."  
"No more scary stories."  
"Deal."

Not exactly what he would call perfect weather but he had to escape no matter what. Steeling himself, Wufei slowly crept toward the door to make a break for it. He moved forward inch by desperate inch... and came into contact with something.  
"Fei Fei now where do you think you are going?"  
"Of all that is holy..." Wufei cursed as he was dragged back to his bed again.  
"You know what happens now! Can't have our new best friend getting lost in the woods now can we."  
"Please, PLEASE, NNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!"  
Wufei was in his bed on his back covered from neck to toe in duct tape strapping him to the bed.  
"Oh this isn't going to be pleasant in the morning..." -.-


	4. Chapter 4: Real Life Horror Stories

Chapter 4: Real Life Horror Stories

Wufei woke up the next morning still taped down onto his bed.  
"Well its about time you woke up." The girls said as they walked over to Wufei.  
"Okay lets get this off of you."  
"Yeah okay. Just please be car.."  
YANK!  
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Wufei sat in the cafeteria looking down at his food. His face was a red as the lines going across his arms and the other female campers kept glancing over at him and laughing.  
"Come on girly! Eat up." One of his bunk mates said with smile.  
"I've told you before I'm not a girl!" Wufei said exasperated.  
"Don't be silly of course you are." They smiled back at him.  
"I'm telling you I really am a boy!" Wufei reiterated again for the thousandth time.  
"Oh that would be horrible."  
"I'm not making it up, I really... Why would that be horrible?" Wufei asked suspiciously.  
"Well because all of the boys that sneak into our camp end up getting caught."  
"So..."  
"And we give them cruel and unusual punishment."  
"Yeah like remember that one guy, Tom I think it was. He crossed over the lakes in a canoe at night so he could peep on us girls when we change into our pajamas."  
"Yeah I remember him."  
"What did you do to him?" Wufei asked cautiously.  
"We stripped him down to his birthday suit, tied his hands and legs together, and put him back in his canoe."  
"Well that's not really bad."  
"Except that it was raining and by morning when the search party found him on the lake his canoe sanked. Unfortunately he managed to stay floating on his back."  
"Yeah unfortunately." They other girls sighed.  
"Ohhhh..."  
"Oh and then there was that guy Ralph. Remember him?"  
"Was he the one that was allergic to bees and we strung him up in the tree next to the bee hive?"  
"No that was Billy. Ralph was the one that dressed up like a girl and sneaked onto our bus."  
"Oh yeah." The other two giggled.  
"What did you do to him?"  
"We tied him to a tree north of the camp and covered him in honey for the bears. They finally managed to find him after 2 days."  
"There's bears around here??"  
"No not around here not silly..." Wufei sighed in relief. "...their den is a two miles north of the camp."  
"..mommy..." o.O

"Come on boys. Everyone has to participate." The counselor said at the four pilots.  
Their group was doing archery for the day and the four of them had yet to pick up a bow.  
"This is getting old." Heero said as they continued to stand there with the counselor getting redder and redder in the face yelling at them.  
"Well I suppose we could try." Quatre said looking at the others. "We are suppose to be blending in."  
Quatre walked up to the line and grabbed a bow. Instead of one arrow though he grabbed three, pulled the bow back and released. A three arrows hit in the bulls-eye.  
o.o  
Duo walked up next and took the bow from Quatre. "Double time!" Duo grabbed all three arrows and threw them in the air. He caught them one at a time as he shot them and got bulls-eyes again.  
o.O  
Trowa took the next turn. He didn't even look at the target as he shot his arrows one at a time. His eyes were fixed on the counselor who was bound and determined to make them participate. Three bulls-eyes.  
O.O  
Heero walked up to the line but instead of grabbing the bow, he took out his handgun and shot at the target completely eliminating the bulls-eye.  
OoO  
"Why don't you boys go for a walk around the lake instead..." The counselor said as the other campers screamed and ran to take shelter.  
"Good idea." Heero said as he looked over at the other three. They all headed out together down the path as fear filled eyes peeked at them from inside the bushes and tops of the trees.  
"Good job fitting in." Trowa said  
"Yes nicely done." Quatre.  
"Way to go Heero." Duo.

"He he. Excuse me." Wufei said in the most high pitched girly voice he could muster.  
The girls sitting on the bench outside of Wufei's cabin stopped talking and looked over at him weirdly.  
"He he. Well. I was just wondering if you could possible tell me if there have ever been any boys in the camp?" Wufei continued batting his eyelashes.  
"Um well yeah there's been a few that have tried to sneak in before."  
"Could you pretty please tell me what happened to them?"  
The girls instantly looked around them to make sure they weren't being overheard. If the counselors found out they would all be in big trouble.  
"Well we just gave them what they deserved."  
"What about this Ralph guy?" Wufei said in his normal voice.  
The girls looked at him in confusion.  
"I mean (cough, cough) what about this Ralphy guy?" Wufei said in he high pitched voice again.  
"Oh yeah that was the one who pretended to be a girl. We tried to feed him to the bears but the search party ended up finding him before they could. They never did figure out who it was that tied him to the tree and poured honey on him."  
o.O "Oh okay. Thank you..."  
Wufei turned and started running as fast as he could to the woods.  
"Got to get out. Got to get out. Got to.. OOMPH!"  
"Look Fei Fei! We've been practicing our traps!" The three bunk mates called up to Wufei who was hanging by one leg from a rope about 8 feet in the air.  
"I swear I'm turning gay after this.." -.-


	5. Chapter 5: Reminisce

Chapter 5: Reminisce

Dear Diary:  
Day One

We just arrived at camp in glorious fashion like always! Heero raised some hell on the bus like usual. That guy really needs to cut back on the caffeine. Can we say "decaf". And guess what! The counselors were so nice and let the four of us be bunk mates! And then they cleared an entire table for us in the cafeteria. Everyone here are so nice. And then we went swimming which was just absolutely perfect! Wufei has no idea what he's missing

Day Two

Hiking!! Being out in nature, soaking up the sun, listening to the birds chirp. Life is good! Didn't think the counselor liked me wandering off of the path, but there was so much out to look at. Lost, smosh. I knew exactly where we were. Wufei has no idea what he's missing.

Day Three

Relaxing day doing finger painting. I painted a horse but Heero said he looked like a rabid dog that needed to be shot. At least mine was appropriate compared to his battle field with lots of red paint. The counselor turned red in the face before turning on Heero. For some reason though all he said was nice painting. I wonder if Heero flashing his gun had to do with anything? Wufei has no idea what he's missing.

Day Four

Easy day. Got to go do whatever we wanted except swim in the lake. Stupid counselors and their lifeguard rules. Went to play basketball with the others. We even played against four other boys. And we beat them 50-0. After that they wouldn't play with us anymore. Sore losers. Wonder what Wufei's doing? He has no idea what he's missing.

Day Five

Fun down at the lake again but a stupid storm came up so we had to stay in our cabins the rest of the night. Boring, boring boring. But Quatre came to the rescue! I'm setting up a tent right now so we can tell scary stories. It's going to be so much fun! Quatre told me off for stealing from the cafeteria but its not like I'm going around shooting anything that makes a noise like Heero. Wonder why the other campers don't come around our cabin? Maybe I should write a letter to Wufei. Tell him about all the fun he's missing.

P.S. Stupid stories... Worse idea Quatre ever came up with... Humpty was scared all night... Teddy bear wouldn't let us cuddle with him...

Day Six

Archery today. I was just having fun hanging out with the guys but that stupid counselor kept going about the "summer camp experience" and "participating" and blah blah blah. It was kind of nice though cause we all only had to do it once and the counselor said we could do whatever we wanted. I guess we impressed him. Heero went a little too far. Too bad Wufei missed out. He would have loved shooting those arrows around the camp. Wonder what he's doing.

Qin ri ji  
Day one of my imprisonment...  
Stupid counselors have no more brain mass than a flea and refuse to allow me to leave. I'm going to try escaping this circle of hell tonight. My bunk mates are enough to drive even the most sanest person to crack and go on a killing spree. I am forced to endure malicious attack after attack and face ultimate humiliation. I will not go into detail for the pain of memory will only anguish me more but one thing is certain. I don't look good in 'pink'... I must go now and make a break for it.

Day two of my captivity...  
My dream of freedom came as but a taste on the wind before he was stolen away from. I thought that the activity of the day, hiking, would allow me the chance of escape and indeed looked forward to it more than the evil captives I must share a cabin with. Yet all hope was taken away as the insisted that we tie ourselves together with rope to prevent anyone getting lost. As if the neanderthals never conjured up the idea that we may all be lost together with the way the were tramping through the woods. Making another attempt tonight. Will wait longer than before to ensure captives are asleep.

Day three in hell...  
Finger painting is a sadistic and malevolent activity thought of by people bent on dumbing down our society. Take for instance the horrific and ugly "paintings" the evil demons have thought up in their devious mind. Who in their right mind would paint a red rabbit? A purple giraffe?? Me in a pink wedding dress... I don't look good in 'pink'... I had thought salvation would come through one of the counselors realizing my error on getting on the wrong bus but obviously they have engaged in too much of this "finger painting" activity.

Day four with the three devils...  
This was suppose to be a 'free' day to enjoy various activities of our own making. I however do not have that luxury as I am dragged and carried against my will to every humiliating activity the devils could think of. Only those of limited intelligence and social skills could possible find amusement in turning a balloon into a makeshift companion by drawing on it and gluing yarn to produce hair. On poking my balloon in retaliation I was only in turn forced to become another guinea pig. I'll never be able to get all that glue out of my hair...

Day five in a world without god...  
If there is a god, he has forsaken me. Every morning the wolves in sheep's clothing deem it necessary get me "ready" every morning. So I am force to endure painful mornings to their abuse as I play guinea pig to their new and ever revolving "fashion" ideas. I don't look good in 'pink'... I told them I prefer black and white. What is this 'goth' they speak of?? This will be my 57th escape attempt in these five days that will forever scar me. It is storming outside but I must make... My life depends on it...

P.S. Note to self, woman are evil and resourceful. Who only knows where all that duct tape keeps coming from...

Day six in the raging eternal fires of damnation...  
Must hold onto sanity... Must make it through... Archery today. I thought it wise to "dispatch" the Queens of Hell back to where they came from only to be given the arrows with little suction cups on them. Heard rumor Queens are spreading of me being mentally unstable and handicapped. They will pay.. Oh yes they will...

"MMUUHHAAAAA!"  
SMACK!!  
"Go to sleep Fei Fei!"  
"..must go to sleep... master said go to sleep... must be good pet..." (twitch, twitch)


	6. Chapter 6: Talent Show

Chapter 6: Talent Show

All of the campers were settled in the cafeteria eating their breakfast when the counselors made an announcement. "Okay everyone listen up. Today is the day I know you have all been looking forward to when we get to put on a talent show! Now everyone must participate and everyone cabin must come up with their own idea. This year it is our turn to visit the girls camps so lets come prepared everyone."

Each seperate group quickly ran back to their cabins to began formulating ideas.  
"Okay anybody have any ideas?" Quatre said as made himself comfortable on his bed.  
"I know! A comedy routine!"  
"A circus act."  
"A play."  
They all looked over at Heero.  
"Wow Heero that's a good idea." Quatre said smiling  
"We can bring in the gundams and do a battle recreation on the camp grounds."  
"Umm... Maybe that's not such a good idea."  
"Okay so we're going settle with just Trowa throwing knives at Duo while he shouts back snappy one liners?" Heero sarcastically said.  
"Okay but what are you two going to do?" Trowa said asking Heero and Quatre.  
"Hey wait a minute! Who said I agreed to having knives thrown at me!!" Duo said jumping out of his bed.  
"Actually combining our ideas is probably for the best." Quatre said looking at Duo.  
"You agree with this?!"  
"How is that going to mesh together?" Heero said.  
"Yeah that's really not going to work." Quatre agreed.  
"How about something more subtle than? We could use the camp's instruments and put on a concert." Trowa suggested.  
"Yeah that'll work!" Duo said jumping on his bed. "Should I go with a drum solo or a really cool guitar solo?" Duo started strumming an air guitar and dancing on his bed.  
"Well actually since I play the violin, Trowa plays the flute, and Heero can play the piano, we'd be better off doing something a little more 'classical'."  
"Oh..." Duo said as he stopped his vocal rendition of Stairway to Heaven and plopped back down on the bed pouting.  
"But don't worry, I'm sure we can find something for you." Quatre said smiling back.

"Hold still Fei Fei!"  
"No! No! I refuse!!" Wufei shouted struggling with all his might.  
"Resistance is futile!"  
"There we go!" The three girls stepped back to admire their handy work once again.  
Wufei looked into the mirror. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"  
His hair was in one ponytail that sat on top of his head and was held there by a barrette that had a gigantic pink flower attached to it. He had blood red lipstick on and pink eyeshadow in the same shade as the flower.  
"Ok put your outfit on!" They cheered together holding up his costume.  
"No, no!! I beg you pllleeeaaaaaaassssssseeeeee!!  
"This is the one. Absolutely perfect."  
"You have GOT to be kidding me..." -.-

Later on that the night the boys piled onto the bus and headed over to the girls' camp. Once they arrived they headed over to the large outdoor amphitheater.  
"Cheer up Duo, you'll have fun still." Quatre said.  
"Meh..." Was all that Duo replied as he walked with his back hunched and pouting.  
The boys sat in the back and watched the many acts that were before theirs including many short comedy skits, mock sword battles and a couple others that also performed their own musical numbers.  
The next number had two girls in little pretty purple sun dresses with small purple flowers in their hair, the one of to the side had on a golden yellow dress and had long gold colored ribbons intertwined in her hair and then the fourth girl...  
"AAHHH!!" Duo cried falling backwards off of the log bench. "That is the ugliest girl I have ever seen!"  
The other three boys had on looks of disgusts across their faces in agreement. The other girl had on a hot pink tutu with matching high heels and tights. In her black hair was a gigantic pink flower.  
The music started and they all began dancing on stage. The two purple were in the back behind the pink one and the gold one was off to the left twirling in circles.  
"You are my sunshine, my little sunshine..." began the pink flower.  
"Why do the purple flower keep smacking the pink one in the head every time she messes up?" Quatre asked.  
"Like it matters?" Duo asked. "It already looks like she's been beaten with the ugly stick."  
"And who in their right mind would wear that shade of pink?"  
All eyes went to Trowa...  
"What?? Am I wrong??"

The stage then belonged to the boys and as they climbed on stage the head counselor announced them. "Now from Cabin 8. Heero, Quatre, Trowa and Duo. The song is "Flying Free" written and composed by Quatre himself."  
Trowa opened the slow melody with his flute and was joined in by Quatre and Heero a few measures later. They rolled through a song with a soft and enchanting melody while the stars seemed to dance with elegance and grace. Apprehensively Duo got ready for his big solo part and when the other three instruments held their low notes and slowly died off one at a time, Duo struck his instrument.  
"TINGLE" went his little triangle -.- and the show was over.  
The boys received a standing ovation as they bowed and exited the stage. All of them had big grins on their faces with the exception of Duo.  
"Wow guys you played great!" Quatre said enthusiastically.  
"You really outdid yourself with that song Quatre." Heero said and Trowa nodded agreeing.  
"Well what do you think Duo?" Quatre asked with a smile on his face.  
"Yeah.. It was a good choice." Duo finally admitted with a little crooked grin.  
"The only thing I don't get," Duo said as they climbed aboard the bus to go back to their camp, "was why that ugly chick in the tutu kept trying to claw her way on stage muttering 'my precious'."  
"Yeah that was pretty strange. With the way her eyes were rolling and her mouth was foaming she has to have some sort of mental condition." Quatre said.  
"At least those other three girls sat on her." Trowa said taking a seat.

In a dark and lonely corner of the cabin lurked Wufei rocking back and forth still wearing his pink flower costume.  
"My friends.. those were my friends..."  
"We's have no friends! Only the masters..."  
"No, no. Must escape... must return to friends..."  
"Can't escape! Masters will be mad... can't make the nice masters mad..."  
"No masters mean to us... my friends..."  
"You don't have any friends. No one likes you..."  
"Not listening. Not listening..."  
"You think we should take her to go see the nurse?" One of the girls asked.  
"No, no. I'm sure she'll be fine in the morning." replied on of the other girls as she gripped the baseball bat tighter.  
"Right. Morning she'll be fine." agreed the last girl as she huddled closer to the other two. They slept on the floor in the farthest corner away from away the withering monster.


	7. Chapter 7: Kumbaya

Chapter 7: Kumbaya

A few nights later, the campers were sitting around a bonfire as they roasted marshmallows. The full moon showed brightly in the sky illuminating the entire forest. It had been raining off and on all day so everyone had brought out chairs to sit on instead of the wet ground.  
"Okay everyone." the counselor said standing up, "For our next game I thought we could play Two Truths and A Lie. Everyone think of their three things and then we'll all try to guess which one is a lie."  
They started with the person sitting to the right of the counselor and went around the circle. Once they were about half way around, it was Duo's turn.  
"I was raised in a church, I was part of the alliance, and I'm the God of Death. Which one's the lie?"  
"The god part." The boy to Duo's left said quickly.  
Duo leaned over and put his arm around the kids shoulders. "Don't you wish." He said with a wink.  
Quite suddenly there was a two foot gap between Duo and the other kid as he drastically jumped away while holding his chair.  
"Okay next person please." said the counselor rather quickly.  
Heero's turn. "I am a trained assassin, my gun collection holds more than 100 firearms, and I've never killed anyone before."  
(Silence)  
"Next..." the counselor ushered.  
"I have 29 older sisters, a personal army, and 6 mansions." Quatre said with a smile.  
"Easy!" Duo yelled triumphantly counting on his fingers. "You own 10 mansions."  
"Moving along..."  
"I've been a clown, I've never ridden an elephant, and I've never purposely thrown knives too close to someone before."  
"What's wrong with elephants?" Quatre asked Trowa.  
o.O (other campers)  
"Okay maybe we've had enough..." said the counselor as he filled the awkward silence. "How about we sing some campfire songs instead?"

Meanwhile at the other camp, Wufei and his captors were making their way over to the bonfire where the other girls were before they stopped walking.  
"What are we doing?" Asked Wufei suspiciously.  
"We're letting the other campers get ahead of us so they won't interfere." One of the girls said looking around.  
"Interfere with what?" Wufei asked. His pulse starting to quicken. All of a sudden, Wufei felt something hit him on the back of the head knocking him out.  
When he woke up, his hands and feet were tied to a long pole and he was being carried into the woods like a hunted pig.  
"What the heck's going on?!" he yelled as fear started to sink in.  
"We're just going for a little hike."  
"We're here!"  
Wufei looked around a clearing that had one lone tree in it. Roughly the two girls that were carrying him dropped him onto the ground.  
"Uhh could you tell me what's going on?"  
"Fun times over Wufei, time for your punishment." They untied him from the pole but made sure his hands were still bound. They pushed him up against the tree and started wrapping the rope around binding him there. One of the girls was digging in her backpack.  
"This is a joke right? Some kind of initiation ceremony??" Wufei tried putting on his flashiest smile.  
The two girls tieing the ropes finished. "Okay he's tied up."  
"...He?... YOU KNEW I WAS A BOY?!"  
"Well duhhhhh." They all giggled. "Why do you think we kept dressing you up in those stupid costumes? All the other campers loved seeing you humiliated like that."  
"But the head counselor.."  
"Just cause he's needed prescription glasses since the stone age doesn't mean he actually wears him."  
"We just had to wait for the cook to fall off the wagon again before we could sneak in and get these without her knowing." The girl that had been digging in her pack showed Wufei what she was looking for. Two large jars of honey.  
o.O "Eek..."

"Kumbaya, My Lord, KUMBAYA!! Come on Heero liven up." Duo said wrapping his arm around Heero's shoulders this time and swaying back and forth.  
"Let go!" Heero shot back trying to pry himself away.  
"Duo stop." Quatre and Trowa said trying to intervene.  
"Oh fine." Duo said suddenly letting of Heero just as the boy gave a mighty push against Duo.  
Heero went tumbling backwards out of his chair right into a patch of mud.  
"Oh man you should see yourself!" Duo cried out laughing and pointing at Heero.  
"It's okay Heero remember the counting..." Quatre said.  
"SCREW YOU AND YOUR COUNTING!!" Heero screamed as he lept after Duo giving a mighty roar.  
"AAHHHH!!" Duo took off running jumping over a couple of campers who were trying to scramble out of the way. Heero was right on his heels snarling like an enraged dog.  
"Oh boy." Trowa said shaking his head, still seating.  
The circle of people around the campfire didn't move or say anything as they stared at the last two companions.  
"Well I suppose we better go save Duo again." Quatre said looking at his watch. "What do you think level four or five punishment?"  
"I'd say five. Mainly cause Heero was trying even though Duo wouldn't lay off." said Trowa calmly.  
"Sounds good." Quatre agreed and turned back to his watch. "Okay 25 seconds. Let's go."  
The two boys finally stood up and took off after their comrades.  
"Excuse us please." said Quatre as the passed the two unfortunate boys where Duo and Heero ran trough. They still had not dared move from off of the wet ground.

Wufei was covered from head to toe in honey and was furiously working on escaping.  
"Of all the nastiest, evilest creatures on this planet..." he grumbled to himself as he tried slipping through the ropes again.  
Finally he was able to use the honey enough to sleep out of his confines.  
"Freedom!" he yelled excitedly and took a step away from the tree only to trip on a rock and fall head first onto the ground.  
Wufei picked himself up and used his teeth to get the rope binding his wrists off. He was now not only covered completely in honey but also in leaves and sticks as the stuck to him. "This has been the worst couple of weeks in my entire life."  
"RROOOAAAARRRR!!"  
o.O Wufei took off like the hounds of Hades was after him as the words of 'bear's den' came floating back into his mind.

"Okay okay Heero enough." Quatre said as they managed to catch up to the others right by a river.  
Trowa grabbed Heero from behind and held onto him as Heero struggled to get away.  
"Hey guys? Which way back to camp?" Duo said as he bent over with his hands on his knees catching his breath.  
"Umm..." Quatre and Trowa looked at each other.  
"NOT ONLY HAS YOUR STUPID PRACTICAL JOKES GONE TOO FAR YOU GOT US LOST IN THE WOODS!!"  
Trowa had to redo his grip a couple of times as Heero ramped up his attempt to escape.  
"No worry guys." Quatre said reaching into his pocket. "I'll just call in and get a helicopter come find us."  
"Ooh ooh let me." Duo said enthusiastically as he grabbed the cell phone from Quatre. "Oops..."  
SPLASH

x.x "He he, oops. My bad guys!"  
Instantly Trowa shot is arms into the air releasing Heero. "Sic him."  
Heero rushed after Duo howling.  
"Ahhhh come on guys!" begged Duo as he started running again.  
"Hey wait." Quatre said being ignored.  
After about 5 seconds Trowa rushed after them.  
"Guys!" Quatre tried again before sighing.  
He reached into his pockets again and pulled out a small metal case no bigger than a nickel. Quatre opened the case and pushed the tiny red button inside it. "I still have my distress beacon at least."

Quatre waited at the camp talking to a couple of the Maganac Corps members including Rashid. All forty soldiers had shown up in their mobile suits within minutes causing quite an uproar among the campers and counselors. Everyone was hiding in their cabins peering out the windows.  
One of the soldiers ran up to the group. "Master Quatre, the other three have been found and are being brought here right now."  
"Thank you very much." Quatre replied back sincerely.  
"Luckily we found them when we did. There's reports of some strange creature covered in mud and leaves running around."  
Five mobile suits and a helicopter landed and the guys started walking over to Quatre. As they got closer he could see Heero had cooled off enough to only give Duo a black eye and a huge goose-egg on his forehead.  
"I think we might have overstayed our welcome." Trowa said looking around at the deserted camp.  
"I think you're right, let's head back." agreed Quatre as he waved at the window of the nearest cabin.  
They piled onto the helicopter and were flown over to Quatre's house.

The four boys decided to watch a movie together. Heero was already sitting on the couch and Quatre was sitting over on the recliner in the huge front living room.  
Quatre put the phone down. "Still no answer over at Wufei's. Must of gone out."  
Duo walked into the room with the popcorn and Trowa next to him was carrying the sodas. Suddenly the front door banged and there stood a horrible beast of mud and leaves baring his teeth. Duo screamed like a girl and jumped Scooby-Doo style into Trowa's arms. Trowa rolled his eyes and deposited Duo onto the floor.  
They all stared at Wufei as he walked into the room breathing heavily and slammed the door behind him. "Not. A. Word." He turned and made his way across the marble floor towards the downstairs bathroom. Nobody said a word even as they heard the door banged shut. Even Duo knew when to keep his mouth shut sometimes.  
"Well hope he's in a better mood tomorrow for poker night." Duo said as he left to go get more popcorn.


End file.
